Douglas Mercer
September 15 2022
You can be sure that on the Vineyard for a long time to come they will tell the legend of the migrants. It will be a moral and salutary tale in stark chiaroscuro, of how the Evil White man from the South didn't take the migrants in to his home state where they could rape and maraud the little people like it's supposed to be. No! The Evil White man had the temerity to send fifty brown people to the White and Jewish enclave of paradise, where the mansions are spacious and the grounds are obscenely spacious, and they tool around in 120K electric clown cars and sip fine wine and generally think very very well of themselves. And why not? On the Vineyard they believe in climate change, and they hate hate, and care about the plight of little Ukraine; they care about the Uyghurs too but more cautiously as all their half Jewish grandchildren's nest eggs depend on the inexorable rise of China; they love diversity (elsewhere of course) and think that poor kid Emmett Till got a raw deal and they really do think that beloved Jussie Smollet was stalked by red hatted thugs. He is black Jewish and gay--what more could a liberal maggot dream of? What more could a liberal faggot dream of? They think there probably was a racial slur hurled at the volley player in Provo but the White Supremacists covered it up, and you can bet your bottom dollar there were brown tots in unmarked grave up there in Canada. Also, Merrick Garland is a secular saint, the election wasn't stolen, democracy is under assault, Jake Tapper is a real mensch, and there is no recession.
There certainly no recession on in the Vineyard that's for sure. Ha ha little people! Eat cake if you can find any.
On the Vineyard everything is serene and paradisical. The God or gods they don't believe in is in the heavens and all is right with the world. No vagrants mar the view, no jobs are outsourced because they don't have jobs. Jobs are for little people and are very gauche. There is no crime to speak of because they keep the criminal out, there is no poverty because they keep the poor out and there are no blacks because they keep the blacks out. Well, there's that one black guy but he's half white and was President.
On the Vineyard all is perfect and they have showers that if you're getting sick will ping the pharmacy and when you have those sniffles the next day the medication will be on the doorstep; and you will look up at the sky toward the God you don't believe in and say we really are good people. The best. Only good things happen to us.
On the Vineyard you can tool to the store on your ten-thousand-dollar bicycle (climate friendly) to get the arugula for your party of casual billionaires you are going to have. And if you're lucky you might even see the sainted Obama among the rutabagas and he likes his arugula just like you. He let in all those migrants but he doesn't want any on the Vineyard any more than you do.
Heaven forbid!
They may be moral but they're not stupid.
Migrants are for the rabble, for the hoi polloi. Not for the good people of the Vineyard.
When the sainted migrants came the good people of the Vineyard had no intention of keeping them. They began to talk darkly of how the evil White man used human being as political tools just like those bad Nazis did. In fact fifty brown migrants descending on the beautiful and pristine island was another Shoah in fact. The Episcopalians cried their tears and the Jews said hate had no business in Martha's Vineyard. They even made flyers about it to show they meant business.
It's important to welcome the stranger before you kick his ass out.
That's right they told Pedro to scram, to get lost. We'll give you succor for forty odd hours but after that it's tick tock. And if we see you before sundown we won't be happy and if we see you after sundown your better have your hands in the air.
The Island isn't big enough for the two to them. I mean it's much more than big enough for the two of them unless you want long vistas with unobstructed views.
When the sainted migrants came the people of the Vineyard had no intention of keeping them. No Army at the border (that's creeping fascism) but an Army to protect their cavernous homes. Hell, you could house twenty Squatemalans no problem in one of those behemoths. But soon the law man was on the way to return the scent of paradise to paradise, and Herve was on his way to somewher else.
So for the now legendary 44 hours the good folk of the Vineyard gave the brown brother a home, they gave them aid and they gave them comfort, and then they sent them packing. Why, there were no services on the island. They had a housing crisis for Pete's sake. This was no place for the migrants. And to top it off the good people of the Vineyard already knew that diversity was a blessing, they didn't need no fifty stinking Venezuelans to show them that. Better the migrants should go to the bigoted places, like 94 percent New Hampshire, or White Des Moine, or any White place in flyover country. Those people needed a lesson. A lesson in the wonders of diversity. The good folk of the Vineyard believe that it is important for those crypto fascists to receive that lesson good and hard. And if their daughter gets raped so what? That daughter has no future anyway, not like those half Jewish grandchildren.
So the Christian Churches and the Jews rolled out the red carpet for the migrants. And if the carpet was only five feet long and after a day and a half they pulled the rug out from under the brown brothers that was only fitting. It's hard to be moral and think very well of yourself if you have to constantly deal with the results of your morality. Better to live in a perfect and frictionless world where all men are equal, justice reigns and racism and hate have no home and there's none of them coloreds for miles around.
You see they welcomed the stranger and then they kicked him the hell out.
Tick Tock Pedro. We'll always remember you.
And indeed the legend of the migrants will live forever among the good people of the Vineyard. They will tell the tale to their mostly Jewish great grandchildren about the outpouring of love that greeted the brown immigrants who got some water, some hugs, and roof for one whole night. And the after regaling all and sundry with these stories of philanthropic might and eternal goodness and before they retire for the night they will look up to the heavens at the god they no longer think about. And when the image or poor Pedro and Juanita fades they will look within and think of their own goodness. It's true they ran them out on a rail faster than Shlomo dives for that nickel but that's not the main point. The main point is that they welcomed them, welcomed them just like the Bible says to. They really are good people; the best in fact. And the message of their goodness really is the moral of the legend of the migrants, a legend that will linger lone in local lore.
