As everyone knows, all great people and useful inventions originated in deepest, darkest africa,
only to be stolen by hordes of heinous honky crackers. Through tribal meditation--hanging by one's
tail and strumming groovy tunes by repeatedly flapping two fingers over de bootlip--niggers invented
everything from airplanes, electricity and pasteurization to nuclear power. One area often overlooked
by ignorant Aryans is literature. Great black achievers like Shakespeare, Pope, Wagner, Chaucer, Goethe
and Milton are redundantly smeared as White. This horrifying injustice is being remedied, comrades, with
the recent creation (pronounced "discovery") of the african epic, Beowulf. This classic work is erroneously
attributed to Europeans, but modern scholars at the Morris Goldberg Boy's Bathhouse, Liquor Store and Truth
Commission have returned it to its rightful owners.
How could Beowulf be african? Why, the proof is in the pages. The story begins with happy honkies
sitting and feasting and enjoying life, celebrating things they've actually earned. Into this atmosphere of
hate glides Gren-del, a negro who lived in a ghetto bordering ye bigots. Gren-del, the real hero of Beowulf,
honorably endures the psychological racism of the rotten Beowulf and his crooked cracker crew. Day in, day out,
he had to listen to Whitey celebrating life, gorging himself with goodies, while he was barely able to subsist on a
paltry palate of greens, watermelon, fried chickens and fat sandwiches, with only a few cases of maly liquor to wash
it down. This, mated with innate black stupidity and lack of foresight, made Gren-del very angry.
Despite his oppression, Gren-del remained in yon ghetto, emerging briefly to beg for change or commit a ship-
jacking or two. Regardless of his tireless efforts, he was always poor while an abhorrent Aryan and his Nazi accomplices
lived in the lap of luxury. To rectify this injustice, Gren-del decided to tiptoe in one night and pocket a couple of trinkets:
dese be reparations fo his sitchawayshun, boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Unfortunately, before Gren-del could exit with his borrowed booty, Beowulf--execrable enemy of evil--grabbed his
innocent arm and ripped it from the socket. Gren-del had no alternative but to return to slum central and suffer in silence.
In typical fashion, Beowulf basked in his hate crime, even displaying Gren-del's arm above his door--like a trophy--and all
the other haters applauded and cheered at a fascist feast. But whoa! This was not enough! Beowulf ventured in to
Gren-del's crib and viciously slaughtered his fugly Mammy. (De daddy was bizzay sippin' ripple at ye welfare office.) In an
even more despicable display, Beowulf the butcher sees Gren-del--now a defenseless corpse--and chops off his head for a
These hate-filled acts of terrorism would have gone unpunished if not for a noble jewish dragon, whose keen kosher nose
sniffed Beowulf's antisemitism. The baron of bagels and hebe hoarder of ill-gotten gold gaily gutted a few goyim in the name of
equality, democracy and true freedom. After a murder here-and-there this innocent israeli worm is brutally assaulted by an aging,
aggravated Aryan--guess who?--Beowulf! The knightly nice jewish boy battled for truth, justice and the communist way, but a
racist named Wiglaf teamed up with Beowulf to murder diversity's diamond.
The good news is, jewzilla managed to munch a morsel from Beowulf's Nazi neck, leading to his deserved demise. The bad
news is honky hordes hauled off the hulking hebe's stolen gold and treasures and distributed them all over Europe, making it
difficult in later ages for israeli pedophiles, pirates and parasites to pilfer and plunder. Beowulf was given the highest honor for
a dead White man--a pagan funeral--while no one mourned the minorities.
As anyone can see, the real heroes of this epic were the knightly negro Gren-del--who bravely battled for multimudcultural
miscegenation--and the jewish worm, who merely nested on his purloined profits until an antisemitic Aryan invaded his privacy.
Hate-filled honkies have laid claim to Beowulf for centuries, but these are diverse times now, and Beowulf safely sits
in its proper place--the porchmonkey pantheon--along with Galileo, Beethoven, Keats, Tesla, Edison, Machiavelli and Ford, to name
a few. All greatness and genius originates in the a-f-r-i-c-a; any nouns that do not reflect this will be beaten, burned and/or buried
in the humanitarian spirit of kosher democracy. Beowulf--often smeared as White, now gloriously black--amen.
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