I didn't know whether to put it here in Politics, or in Humor.
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...Last Wednesday at a meeting of the Senate Environmental Committee, Delaware Senator Tom Carper asked Fetterman to pour everyone a glass of his thoughts regarding the I-95 collapse. Fetterman regaled the crowd with the following dark and inscrutable Zen koan (I very carefully transcribed Fetterman’s ululations, even repeatedly listening to them at half-speed to ensure I didn’t fuck up any of his fuckups, so nothing is misspelled here and is instead faithfully represented as it was spoken):
On Saturday, ostensibly to make Scranton-born Joe Biden appear to be less senile than everyone knows he is, Fetterman spoke on the I-95 collapse as Biden stood next to him, nodding and probably thinking, “This is good for me — this is very, very good for me”:Uh, no, I, I, uh, would, would, would just, uh, really like to, you know, the 95, 95, 95, you know, um, you know, obviously, that, you know, you’re pretty much preoccupied with the, uf, uh, 95? And I know I certainly am, too, and we know it’s a major, uh, atery, not just for, for Pennsylvania, but for the East, the East Coast. And a lot of Pennsylvanians are worried that delays in repairs bring to its, standstill deal.
And now, I’m standing next to, uh, the president again, next to, uh, a collapsed bridge here, and he is here to commit to work with the governor and, the, the, delegadation to make sure that we get this fixed quick fast as well, too. This is a president that is committed to infructure, yeah, and then on top of that, eh, the jewel, uh, well, kind of, uh, eh a law, of the infra—, infruct—, yeah infration, uh bill, that is gonna make sure that there’s gonna be bridges all across this like this, uh, all across America getting rebuilt.
John Fetterman is living, breathing, drooling, stuttering proof that nothing in America is getting rebuilt. His stroke-addled brain epitomizes the current State of the Union.